I can sleep on my back
I can take extra hot baths
I can eat sushi with abandon
I can plan ahead and have a few beers
I can see my ankles
I can play with my lovely baby girl
Postpartum, yay!

Just a few things I think about when I can't get back to sleep after a 3am feeding.
Some women love being pregnant. I was not one of them.

Current Location: Tv room
Current Mood: thankful
Current Music: giants bball

I put laundry soap in the drier yesterday, instead of the washer.

I put coolwhip on a lemon pie still hot from the oven.  Coolwhip melted into this oily mess.  (Still ate the pie anyway)

I answered the door for a fedEx package with my shirt still undone from nursing.  I was covered by my camisole, but still. 

sigh.

I go back to work in 8 days. . . not that I'm counting.  J came back a night early from his business trip - yay!  Trying to make plans to leave the house this afternoon, but first we watch Giants Baseball on TV as E takes a mid-morning nap.

Doing my first stint in Solo Parenting this weekend.  J is on a business trip schedule to come back Sunday afternoon.  The nanny left Friday 6PM, giving me 44 hours of solo parenting.  And just as I start writing this, she wakes from her snooze.  They aren't exactly NAPS yet, too short - but she sleeps well at night so I'm trying not to worry.  And will grill the pediatrician on her sleep pattern next week.  We'll see how long I can write before she demands undivided attention.

9 Day I go back to work after being off since Christmas.  Mixed feeling about that - ready to get back into the game, not ready to leave E for 8+ hours a day.

I bought a nanny-cam type device.  Linksys (cisco) WVC80N.  I want to be able to see E from work, not spy on the nanny.  I got the camera working inside the house.  Can't figure out how to get it working from outside our home network. It doesn't seem to like my 2WIRE AT&T router.  Trying to setup this sort of stuff, where I'm clearly out of my depth, aggravates me to no end.  I'm thinking of hiring a Craigslist geek to do it for me.  Or return the camera.

I found a cool website called Made By Joel http://madebyjoel.blogspot.com/  of crafty kid things.  Marble track made from a cereal box; baskets woven from magazines, mobiles, paper crafts.  Very little is for a 3 month old, but great ideas for when she gets older.

Ok, times up.  Gotta go.

Tags: baby, parenting
Current Location: home office
Current Music: stand by me soundtrack

(a little better all the time.)
 

She sleeps!  Through the night (mostly) and regular daytime naps.  A well rested mommy is a happier mommy.

Spring has sprung in SF, we should get out for a walk.   But she is happily resting across my lap following her post meal burp.  So I'm dawdling.

I wrote my Aunt a hand written letter yesterday - I'm somewhat working on my letter writing skill.  My Aunt is my last link to my parents generation.  Both my parents passed on last Fall (separately), and the grieving of course is rough.  I so much want to share with them their grandchild - she would have been their first.  We named her after my mother. . . Sigh.  My Aunt has offered to do what she can as a substitute grandparent.  We shall see how that works, as we live on opposite coasts.

Which makes me think maybe we should move closer to family.  Which then makes me reconsider the whole job-thing. Lower Delaware is inexpensive enough that I could sell this SF condo, move to Dover, go into semi-retirement and focus on raising E.  Gotta wonder if the change from globe trotting career city girl to Delaware mom would be too much for me - would I go out of my mind with such a drastic change?

Another thought - Amsterdam is just a close to Dover as SF is.  Maybe I should move there instead.  Much of J's family is there, after all.  Though Amsterdam is not Delaware cheap.  Need to figure out the work situation if I go that route.

Cheap - cheep cheep - this reminds me, I need to get out the Easter decorations.  Putting out Easter chicks is something my Mother always did this time of year.

Tags: easter, family, travel
Current Location: living room

So I had a C-section (after 20 hrs of labor.  ugh.  thank goodness for epidurals).  The tummy is going down, so just recently I've been able to see my scar.  And wow was it apparent, dark and raised which I just assumed was scar tissue that I'd live with for the rest of my life.  Not that I was THAT worried about it - no one sees me there (except J, who didn't seem phased).   The cut was below the bikini line after all. 

But today I had my 3rd post partum bath.  They make you wait 6 weeks before bathing, plus I rarely have time for more than a shower.  In fact some days when E is fussy, I don't even get to showering.

Anyway, we have a system now that E & I bath together, then I pass her to J, who deals with getting her in her nightclothes.  Then I turn up the hot water and have a relaxing 10 or 20 minutes. (Except last time, when the doorbell rang with dinner 2 minutes into my bath.  Sigh.) 

Back to today - relaxing in the bath,  I started poking at the scar, wondering it this raised line was a scab not scar tissue.  And to my surprise it was neither - it was glue.  Apparently they closed my up with this rubber-cement type glue.  In the hot bath it just took a little rubbing to get it off.  Now the scar is hardly noticable (again, if you were looking down there for it, which you wouldn't be).  Yay.  Sometimes it's the insignificant things that make you feel good.

Baby been asleep for an hour.  Its only 10:30 but I'm calling it a night.
 

Tags: health, medical
Current Location: bed
Current Mood: good

It's been a bit over a year since I posted, and I had been winding down how often I posted.  I think I'm ready to get back to it.  But this is a relaunch, and I think I'll be largely focusing on my Motherhood experience.  

Meaning,  this will be the journal of the next-stage of my life.  The past 4 or 5 years of my blogging was me coming out of the isolation that was my marriage to Thor.  And finding my way on my own in this exciting weird and varied world, rediscovering what it means to be me.

And now I have this new life.  New man, new baby - new priorities.  And new thoughts to blog about.  Yeah, yeah, I'm not the first woman to have a baby.  But I do have MY thoughts, questions, challenges on Mothering (and Life) that I want to record.

Of course, I do have a FB account, 2 twitter accounts, and a corporate blog not to mention private email correspondence that I also plan to keep going.  And with the baby I find it hard to keep up with those.  I'm not sure I'll be able to keep this blog up.  But here's to best intentions.

Tags: baby, family, new life
Current Location: bed
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: baby monitor static

going to Los Angeles for the weekend to party with an old new orleans friend.  Yeah, I do this a few times a year, but it is still fun.  We're hitting Das Bunker and then he's having a house party.  Wooo hoooo!

Then, I'm off to Calgary for 2 days.  Hopefully I'll have time to hang with some old friends there.

Then, I'm off to D.C./ Dover area for 8 days (by way of Cincinatti).  Good to visit family types there.  Maybe even make it to Philly if I find some time on my hands.

Then back in SF on July 3rd, easily in time for drinks at the speakeasy on Independance day.

Living the dream. 
Now if I could only find a jet-setting-gent to accompany me, my life would be complete. 

Tags: living the dream, travel
Current Mood: chipper

I'm in New Orleans until Monday evening, April 20th.
Then after a night it Washington D.C., I'm off to Holland until April 26th.

So that means I'll miss Meat this week.  Oh well.

Living the dream. 

Tags: stalking, travel
Current Location: Nola House
Current Mood: awake

So I'm doing a lot of "penciling" things in. So not all of these are firm plans, most are "we'll see what I feel like that evening".  Except for the travel - I have tickets! 

• March 17: Steam Punktrick's Day
• March 18: Some trade show in Modesto
• March 18: Abney Park @ Slims
• March 19:  Gym/PT
• March 20-22 : Los Angeles for Lazmas III
• Das Bunker
• Crawfish Boil
• Climax Party
• Gaming
• March 26: Meat
• April 16-20 : New Orleans - French Quarter Fest
• June 26-July 3 : Back East (Delaware, Washington D.C.)
   

That's not a lot, is it?  But I'm trying to limit my commitments so I can go to things as they come up.

Tags: stalking, this life
Current Location: office- heading home!
Current Mood: okay
Current Music: none

I've lost 2.5 pounds this month.
Mostly in the last week, as I've had this rough cold (thanks portland) and no appetite.

I have a resolution to not buy pastries or doughnuts or cookies or the like.  Notice that is "not buy", not "not eat".

I joined a gym;  My personal trainer has canceled on me 3 times now, and they have over charged me by $102.  Sigh.

I found I like yoga.  A lot.  Even though I suck at it. 

Tags: this life
Current Location: office
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: none